


Mistaken Identity

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Adventure, Come together, Experience, Hopefully this will be a short story, I don't kno, I don't know what I'm doing, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Maybe mature in later chapters?, RICK AND LEE AGAINST GALACTIC FEDERATION!!!, omg, tons - Freeform, with love - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-18 22:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What if, in the scuffle, Stanley fell into the portal instead of Ford?Or, in which, Stanley pretends to be his bro in order to con the smartest man in the universe into taking him home.





	1. Chapter 1

 

“Prisoner 8217, please proceed to the platform.”

 

Stanley trudged forward, awaiting the daily mandatory assessment.

 

The nondescript alien bug before him tapped a clipboard with it’s mandible.

 

Clipboards. The sides of Stan’s lips twitched upwards. Who knew an technologically advanced alien race used damn clipboards. If one fell to earth and a human picked it up, they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between an alien artifact and an ordinary fucking clipboard.

 

Stan’s face fell when he recounted his home planet. Earth, he had no idea how many miles away it was, probably trillions. He was in an alien world where he couldn’t recognize anything other than a fucking clipboard. He bet if Ford was in his place, he’d be fucking ecstatic, but Stan just felt… homesick.

 

“Alright, you are dismissed.”

 

As he walked away, sights, sounds, and smells of his home world circled through his mind. Oh, how he missed long drives in the Stanmobile, the desert nights on the road, hell, even the times when he was broke and had to sleep in the back seat of the car. If it wasn’t for Ford and his fucking portal-

 

“SQUAAWWWSQUUUUU!!!”

 

Stan blinked away his daze, realizing he nearly bumped into… into… a pile of molten goop?

 

“Oh, uh, sorry?” Stan sidestepped around the large mass as it slithered towards the platform. He hefted an anxious sigh, most of all, he missed talking to people. He was a con-man and that made making positive relationships with people difficult, sure, but he missed hitting bars and talking to random folks, folks like him who scrapped by. In this place, the only English he heard were from the monotonous daily assessments.

 

Suddenly, violently, he was shoved aside as several armed bug aliens pushed past the crowd of prisoners to the opposite side of the complex, screeching loudly in their alien language. One of the aliens turned away from the group, aiming it’s alien gun at Stanley’s face.

 

Stan immediately raised his hands up, “Woah! I, uh, I’m unarmed!”  
  
The alien screeched loudly, clawing at the trigger when it’s head suddenly burst, spraying green slime everywhere.

 

Stan gasped loudly, stunned as green slime slid down his orange jumpsuit, before his brain kicked in and he grabbed the weapon out of the dead aliens hands.

 

“Ford?”  
  
Stan raised his head to see a human, a fucking human with blue hair and unibrow, wearing some kind of tactical nightmare, but he didn’t care. He could have run to the man and kissed him, guns and all. Finally, a regular, non-alien, English speaking _person_. Stan could have cried.

 

“Ford, holy fuck! How did you get here?!”

 

Stanley raised his eyebrows, mouth agape. Ford? Perfect. The only human he’d seen in forever knew his brother. Knowing his twin, Ford probably bad-mouthed Stan to high hell. Bless his ever fucking bad luck- wait…

 

The tips of Stan’s mouth twitched upwards for a second time, “Yeah, I have no idea.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

The blue-haired (was it natural? Or dyed?) human frowned, "Ford-"

 

Without warning, the stranger fired his weapon at two bug alien guards on his left.

 

He grabbed Stan's shoulders, "Talk later! Run now!"

 

Stan couldn't argue with that logic. He followed the blue haired stranger down a long corridor he'd never been down before, making turn after turn before slamming his face into the back of his narrow bodied savior. 

 

The stranger brought a silent finger to his lips as he reloaded his alien gun. 

 

Just around the corner, a dozen or so alien bug creatures rushed through an adjacent corridor. A small faction of the mass cut away from the group and began marching in Stan's direction.

 

"Wait for it," the stranger whispered under his breath, "wait for it."

 

Suddenly, huge explosion shook the hull, decimating a small crowd of bug creatures. Before the rest could come back to their senses, the stranger shot out and began open firing. Stan joined him, though his aim with the alien gun was significantly less accurate.

 

"HAHA! Wh-wh-when did you le-eeerp-arn how to shoot, Ford, I thought you were a pacifist!" The stranger roared over the sound of gunfire.

 

"Desperate times!" Stan yelled back, turning his attention towards another target.

 

"Rick!"

 

The stranger snapped his head towards the voice, "Squanchy, did you get it?"

 

Stan turned to see a... cat thing? Run out of the midst of the explosion, "I squanched it! We gotta squanch now! Bp is squanching the ship!"

 

The stranger- Rick?- let out an exasperated, "BP? BP? He doesn't even know how to fly a escape pod let alone my fucking ship!"

 

"No time, boss! We have to squanch it out of here, stat!" The cat thing shouted back before rushing back into the mist.

 

Stan followed the grumbling stranger- Rick, gotta remember that, Rick- after the bipedal cat creature into the mist.

 

When the mist cleared, Stan's eyes grew wide as he saw what looked like a pile of trash glued together by duck tape hovering ten inches away from them. 

 

"Ain't she a beaut?" Rick chimed up, petting the side as if it was some kind of fucking cat.

 

"She's a piece of crap, that's what she is!" Stan blurted before he could stop himself.

 

Rick laughed as he patted the hulk of garbage, "You-you-you never had an eye for beauty, Ford."

 

"Less chating, more squanching the fuck outta here!" The cat creature called out of the ship.

 

Rick shoved Stan into the mound before he could protest. 

 

The inside was almost as hideous as the outside, more so if possible. Naked wires and tubes hung haphazardly from the ceiling, large cracks lined the walls revealing more of the ships innards, and black trash bags were strewn about everywhere.

 

All in all, it looked like the setting for some kind of budget sci-fi horror movie.

 

"Holy shit," Stan muttered under his breath. He wondered how this thing could run.

 

"I would like to see your gun, strange human."

 

Stan turned to see a gun pointed at his face and immediately dropped the alien weapon, "uh, woah, uh," another human in some kind of feathered attire stood before him, "uhhhhh... I'm friends with-"

 

"All hands on deeeeeeck!" Rick shouted as he climbed into the hulking mess, "heh, always wanted to say that. It's ok, BP, he's with me."

 

"I am glad of this," the strangely dressed human stated, putting the weapon away, "I am Birdperson."

 

"Hi, uh, Birdperson? I'm Stan- Ford! Stanford! You can call me Ford, heh," Stan laughed nervously, glancing discreetly at Rick.

 

Rick didn't seem to hear the slip up, opting to put an arm around Stan's shoulder, "Me and Ford go waa-aaaaurp-aaay back. Since Backupsmore, right, Ford?"

 

A frown etched its way across Stan's face as he gave a half-hearted, "yeah," the pain from years ago still plaguing him. So, Ford didn't go to his dream university after all. 

 

Rick seemed to notice the change in mood this time but before he could say anything, the cat creature poked its head out of the corner and yelled, "They're squanching at us! We gotta squanch!"

 

Stan stared at the cat in abject confusion but Rick only nodded, "BP, man the engine. Sqaunchy, you know where to squanch. Ford, with me."

 

Rick and the others abruptly left to their stations. Stan followed behind Rick, wondering aloud, "what the hell does squanch mean?"

 

Rick flashed Stan a devious grin, "You don't want to know," before pressing a couple of panels on a keyboard, "Hey, do you know how to play those 2D space shooter games?"

 

"You mean like the ones from the 90's?" Stan furled his eyebrows trying to recall if Ford played any of those games with him, "Yeah... why?"

 

"Ah good," Rick walked through the opening, giving Stan a wry smile, "Then you'll do just fine."

 

Stan found out soon enough that shooting alien spacecrafts was nothing like those retro arcade games. In game, the alien crafts moved towards you at a slow block by block pace, occasionally shooting a random laser or two. The alien crafts of reality spiraled, zigzagged, and shot semi-accurate death missiles.

 

And Stan loved it. 

 

Rick cursed loudly as he sent the garbage pile sideways, narrowly dodging a stray missile, "Ford-"

 

"I got it!" Stan shouted back as he fired several shots of his own towards the alien crafts. Unlike the movies, however, they didn't explode but it was still satisfying to see them fall apart, shooting alien matter every which way.

 

"Hold on! Gon-gon-gonna juUUUuuump!" Rick belched and Stan suddenly felt oddly lightweight, as if riding a rollercoaster downhill, before gravity set itself right again and his stomach settled.

 

Cheers and whoops filled the small hull and Stan felt an arm wrap around him, “We lost ‘em! Those bug fuckers! We lost ‘em! We did it, Ford!”

 

The cheers were infectious and Stan felt himself laughing along side Rick, wondering how the hell his quiet, introverted brother would know such a loud-mouth, crazy, blue-haired asshole.

 

“You did great out there, Ford. You really pummeled those fuckers,” Rick patted Stan on the chest, “You-you-you really would make a good addition to the team.”  
  
Stan flushed at the praise. What was he? A fifteen year old girl? “Oh, um, thanks?”

 

“I mean it, Ford! Think about it!” Rick brought his face way too close to Stan’s, crazed eyes bright, “Rick and Ford against the universe! We co-could research all kinds of stuff! Galaxies! Rocks! You like galaxy rocks, right?”

 

For a moment, Stan felt a rush telling him to say yes to everything this blue-haired stranger was saying. Then he remembered… He wasn’t Ford. And this stranger thought he was. Stan wasn’t sure how long he could keep this facade. Besides, he just wanted to go home.

 

Stan pushed Rick away from him, “As much as I like galaxy rocks, I would like it more if I went home to earth… It’s been a long time and I just…”

 

Rick’s eyes dimmed, “Oh… No, I get it. The galaxy’s not for everyone… heh,” he turned away from Stan and back to the control panel, “I’ll send you home… after.”

 

“After?” Stan asked nervously.

 

Rick turned to him with a wide toothy smile, “WE SPEND AN ENTIRE DAY AT BLITZ AND CHIIIIIIIIPZ!!!!!”


End file.
